By Roberto Malaver – Sep 25, 2026
No one can stand this! What the hell did we do, Mr. Trump, to deserve so much of a beating? What we just saw at the UN is beyond words. While comrade María—betrayed—Machado had to enter through the White House garage to hand over her Nobel Peace Prize medallion, you now receive the new dictator with the main government authorities of our second homeland. It’s a mess, Mr. Trump, and we do not know what the hell to do anymore.
If the previous dictator already had us spinning, now you have us crazier than ever, as far beyond the Cinaruco [a border river between Venezuela and Colombia] as you can get. You, who in your speech threatened to wipe out Cuba and Iran—pro-communists, of course—now you have to wipe out this dictatorship too, which is dying. They are fooling you, Mr. Trump. You cannot trust those people one bit. With those faces of abandoned children, they have screwed what is left of the country.
I repeat, Mr. Trump, if you had put us in power once and for all, things would be much better. You would not need to lay out three phases—stabilization, recovery, and transition—no way! With us, you would go straight to whatever you wanted, and that would be that. With us, you would already have renamed what remains of the country the Trumpinian Republic of Venezuela, and to hell with the sick. Surely many neighboring governments would have done the same. Tell me, for example, our comrade De la Espriella. Damn, he would not resist twice putting Colombia down as the Trumpinian Republic.
We kept thinking we could still attract attention so the country would forget it has a dictator at the UN. We went out saying that our comrade María—betrayed—Machado had been held at the Panama airport so she could not travel to Venezuela. All of us lit up our social media accounts with that message to try to get people to talk about us, because we were so sincere. But nothing: everyone and then some was focused on your meeting with the new Venezuelan dictator. We are sad, lonely, and finished. There are no words to classify this fierce heartbreak we are living in these times of cholera. The worst part is they are going after the comrades who defended you down there, in Miami. Now, they cannot even show their faces at the window because ICE is hunting them to deport them to Liberia. Tell me that! Even our Colombian comrade María Elvira asked you, please, to treat our people well, and you told her to shut up. Damn, things are not like they used to be!
The good thing is that many Chavistas are also furious with the speech, as furious as we are. Of course the difference is class—fundamentally—because they want communism and we want popular capitalism. There are some Chavistas willing to be killed because there was treason. That is what those bastards say, but what they do not know is that the worst betrayal is the one you have done to us, who are down on our knees asking you not to leave us alone in this ordeal. At least it is heartening to see those Chavistas riled up. To rile them up even more, we send them the photo of you, Mr. Trump, with the dictator, with the phrase: “It used to smell like sulfur; now it smells divine.” That makes them angrier than we are.
Is Still Smells of Sulphur: 20 Years Since Chávez’s Speech at the UN
Margot’s father saw the photo of Trump with the new dictator and said: “We are screwed again. There will never be elections here anymore. And the people in the Assembly have been talking for a week and haven’t said a damn thing. Comrade Trump abandoned us. Now only Henrique ‘Manguangua’ Capriles remains, and I hope he does not knock on my door, because I will smash his face in.” Then, he went to the room, grabbed the door and slammed it so hard the neighbor came out screaming: “Go take a picture with Trump, you scumbag.”
“I, too, like all young people, came to throw my life away…” Margot declaims to me.
Roberto Malaver (born July 13, 1955) is a prominent Venezuelan journalist, writer, internationalist, and political satirist. He is widely recognized in Venezuela for his sharp political humor and cultural commentary.
Translation: Orinoco Tribune
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