
Trump — As we find ourselves in the 250th anniversary of America’s founding, the country is more American than ever. This isn’t a compliment, of course, but it is a way of introducing the chaos we’re seeing around the anniversary planning — chaos even right-wingers are calling out:
I’m actually pretty pissed at how badly they’ve bungled America 250. First they tried to invite Milli Vanilli and a bunch of other absurdly washed up geriatric one hit wonders. Then when that didn’t work they decided to convert the event into a Trump rally where Trump will talk… https://t.co/lYo2jUWOLy
— Matt Walsh (@MattWalshBlog) May 30, 2026
Happy birthday
America has produced some of the biggest musical acts of all time. Given this, you’d think it would be easy to book some big hitters for the 250th Anniversary. Instead, we got the likes of Milli Vanilli — a German pop outfit which was famous for not singing their own songs (one of whom is now deceased, RIP):
JUST ANNOUNCED: The Great American State Fair lineup is here, featuring a packed roster of hits including Martina McBride, Young MC, C+C Music Factory, Vanilla Ice, Milli Vanilli, The Commodores, Morris Day & The Time, Flo Rida, Bret Michaels, and many more. pic.twitter.com/VI7OK4kDGI
— Breaking911 (@Breaking911) May 28, 2026
As if this wasn’t embarassing enough, several acts have now pulled out, including the Commodores, Morris Day and the Time, and the aforementioned Milli Vanilli. Poison singer Bret Michaels said the following:
Unfortunately, what was presented to us as a celebration of our country has evolved into something much more divisive than what I agreed to be a part of
He added:
Concerns have also been raised regarding the safety of my fans, band, crew, family and myself, including threats that are completely unfounded and unforgivable. Because of that, I have made the difficult decision to step away from this performance
To be fair, the US is a little busy losing Israel’s wars right now, so they can’t be expected to defend the nation’s second-tier rockers.
In the post at the top, Donald Trump described the acts pulling out as having “the yips”. He also vowed to replace them himself, claiming he has more appeal than Elvis. And the crashout didn’t stop there:
Holy shit, Trump is really crashing out. His latest unhinged screed: “We should have a giant MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN RALLY, for 250, instead of having overpriced singers, who nobody wants to hear, whose music is boring, and yet who do nothing but complain. Cancel it, just like I… pic.twitter.com/wmQ0FdFTAX
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) May 30, 2026
Trump also took time to criticise his opponents on the right:
Every single one of them pushed for the release of the Epstein files pic.twitter.com/h48dPGtbdW
— MeidasTouch (@MeidasTouch) May 30, 2026
Between all this, Trump bragged about passing one of the mental exams they only administer to folks who are showing signs of cognitive decline:
— Rapid Response 47 (@RapidResponse47) May 31, 2026
Oh, and we also learned about the ‘RUMP’ watch:
Donald Trump has scammed his supporters again.
He sold them a Trump watch with the T missing for $640. pic.twitter.com/ZB3Kni1OsM
— Mukhtar (@I_amMukhtar) May 30, 2026
Trump — Hip hip hooray
The music acts aren’t the only thing booked for America 250; there’s also the planned UFC match on the White House lawn:
Starting to come together
[ #UFCWhiteHouse is presented by @Cryptocom and @RamTrucks ] pic.twitter.com/mWYJ45oNBZ
— UFC (@ufc) May 29, 2026
SEE YOU ON THE SOUTH LAWN @UFC pic.twitter.com/02HoAdxc9e
— The White House (@WhiteHouse) September 20, 2025
As neoliberal ghoul Hillary Clinton highlighted:
This is what Trump’s done to the people’s house:
A third of it is rubble.
Another third is a cage match.
What a metaphor. pic.twitter.com/0JKCj5prXF
— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) May 29, 2026
Some Yanks are pretending this doesn’t represent them, but this is the America the rest of the world knows. It’s a violent, destructive force that turns everything it touches into rubble and rancour. So in that sense, the arrangements for the 250th Anniversary are actually very fitting.
Well done, President Paedophile (allegedly).
Featured image via Kevin Dietsch (Getty Images)
By Willem Moore
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