On 14 May, and shocking absolutely nobody, Labour-right stooge and newly-ex health secretary Wes Streeting handed in his resignation letter.
We all know he’s planning his own leadership bid, because the horrid little worm has barely been able to conceal his excitement for weeks now.
Many of my colleagues at the Canaryhave been champing at the bit to do some actual political analysis of the situation, so I’ve been left with the much more fun job of taking the piss out of of his pathetic little resignation note. Let’s dive straight in, shall we?
Streeting — three cheers for the NHS
Naturally, Streeting kicked off with several paragraphs bigging-up his success with the NHS.
The National Health Service is the embodiment of all that is best about Britain and our values. Thanks to our Labour government, it is on the road to recovery: lots done, but so much more to do.
These are all good reasons for me to remain in post, but as you know from our conversation earlier this week, having lost confidence in your leadership, I have concluded that it would be dishonourable and unprincipled to do so.
Usually, something being dishonourable and unprincipled is far from enough to stop Streeting from doing it. Take, for example, that shining example of the NHS.
The now-former health secretary spent most of the recent doctors’ strikes finding any excuse to smear residents. Meanwhile, he’s been taking massive donations from private health companies. And of course, alongside that, he’s taken every available opportunity to privatise the NHS by a thousand cuts.
A true socialist of principle, right there.
The far-right threat
Next, Streeting turned to Labour’s “unprecedented” (in a bad way) election results last week. He stated that:
For the first time in our country’s history, nationalists are in power in every corner of the United Kingdom – including a dangerous English nationalism represented by Nigel Farage and Reform UK. […] Progressives across our country understand this threat and our responsibility to confront it, but they are increasingly losing faith that the Labour Party is capable of rising to our historic responsibility of defeating racism and offering hope that Britain’s best days lie ahead through social democracy.
Is it bad that I almost find the lack of a swipe at the Greens alongside Reform refreshing at this point?
That said, it’s hilarious that Streeting thinks ‘progressives’ might actually side with him instead. Streeting, that is, the darling of Labour’s right wing. Even the bloody centrists don’t want him, as YouGov polling has quite clearly demonstrated.
The ex-health sec recognised (correctly, no points for that one) that the Labour Party tanked in the election because everyone now hates it. However, he concluded that policy mistakes had:
left the country not knowing who we are or what we really stand for.
I’d argue that the country knows damn well what this Labour stands for. We’ve seen the party’s Reform-alike policies in action quite plainly. Voters just have no reason to opt for far-right-lite policies when actual Reform is right there.
Streeting — ‘We need vision’
Streeting goes on (and on, and on):
But where we need vision, we have a vacuum. Where we need direction, we have drift. This was underscored by your speech on Monday. Leaders take responsibility, but too often that has meant other people falling on their swords. You also need to listen to your colleagues, including backbenchers, and the heavy-handed approach to dissenting voices diminishes our politics.
A ‘heavy-handed approach’ to dissent diminishes our politics now does it? This, coming from the guy who threatened doctors’ training posts to make them call off a strike.
Also, we should be careful not to mention one of Labour’s more memorable little sword-accidents here. You know, the one where Starmer sacked Foreign Office flunky Olly Robbins for letting Mandelson become the US ambassador. That’s the same Epstein-linked Mandelson who Streeting was such good buddies with, BTW.
The ‘broad’ debate
Coming to a close, Labour’s unlikely future leader wrote that:
It is now clear that you will not lead the Labour Party into the next general election and that Labour MPs and Labour Unions want the debate about what comes next to be a battle of ideas, not of personalities or petty factionalism. It needs to be broad, and it needs the best possible field of candidates. I support that approach and I hope that you will facilitate this.
It’s likely that this ‘broad debate’ means making room for left-ish hopeful Andy Burnham. Of course, another MP would have to give up their seat for the Manchester mayor in order for him to run, but that’s not exactly unlikely at this point. Save for that small hurdle, Burnham is currently Labour’s best shot (which isn’t saying much).
Now, if I was being charitable, I’d say Streeting has recognised that yet another leadership stitch-up wouldn’t be a good look for Labour here.
If I was being uncharitable (and more true), I’d say the snivelling little weasel was looking to split the left vote (vs. say, Angela Rayner) in order to bolster his own chances. That’d be because, and say it with us now, Streeting:
has always been a right wing lickspittle cunt
And he always bloody will be, too.
Featured image via the Canary
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