Psychologist Dr Awanui Te Huia says the stories we tell ourselves are critical to whether we advance in our learning of te reo. (Photo: Ashlee Decaires)
Negative self-talk can undermine efforts to learn te reo Māori. Atakohu Middleton gets advice from Dr Awanui Te Huia, an expert in the psychological factors that can affect Māori learning te reo in later life, on how to reframe that unhelpful internal chatter.
I was in my late 30s when I finally made a wholehearted commitment to learn te reo.
That was a while ago now, but there’s still, often, a flutter of apprehension in my puku when I go into reo Māori-only spaces, as I don’t get to speak te reo much in my everyday life. Heading off last November to the Toitū Te Reo festival in Heretaunga, a celebration of Māori language, those pūrerehua (butterflies) started fluttering again.
I know the pattern now. It takes a few minutes of stuttery speaking before my reo warms up and starts to flow, and another 10 minutes before my Anglophone brain gets out of the way. What never stops is my harsh judgment of myself when I make an error or don’t phrase things in the most Māori way.
So Awanui Te Huia’s session at Toitū Te Reo was a must. Awanui is an academic at Te Herenga Waka Victoria University of Wellington and holds a doctorate in psychology. Her research focused on the factors that support or hinder language development in Māori learning their heritage tongue.
Awanui’s talk, titled “Manaakitanga and the courage to be uncomfortable”, began by pointing out that complicated emotions often accompany our reo journeys: Sorrow that we don’t have our tūpuna language, anger at the colonising processes that ripped it from us, and discomfort at being competent adults who feel like incompetent children in Māori-language classes.
We want to become fluent quickly to close the gap and heal the wound. Learning our heritage language as an adult often means bringing a pile of baggage to the task, and the self-talk in our heads can become the biggest barrier to learning.
In her talk, Awanui offered examples of these internal monologues.
“I’m expected to know more than I do because I’m Māori . . . I should wait until I know just a bit more before I use Māori with the kids. Imagine if they heard me saying this, and now they’re going to carry that to kura . . .
“We have all these stories about being perfect,” said Awanui.
The stories we spin
As Awanui explained, whakamā (shame, embarrassment) can disrupt our ability to learn, remember and recall.
When we’re feeling vulnerable, with negative self-chatter going round and round in our heads, the fear of making a mistake stills our tongues. If we feel we might be rejected or judged for making an error, the fear and anxiety centre in our brain, the amygdala, is triggered, which prevents learning.
“Our bodies respond — not our logic, not our brains. So we need to change our thinking.”
The stories we tell ourselves, Awanui said, are critical in determining whether we advance in our learning.
She posed some questions, and it’s worth thinking about each one now, as you’re reading this:
Where do the stories we tell ourselves about our ability to learn or use te reo Māori come from? What early experiences have shaped how I feel about te reo in my life? What are the stories I tell myself about my ability to learn or use te reo Māori with others? How do these stories contribute to the attributions I make about te reo? For instance, when I make a mistake or celebrate a milestone, how do these relate to the “reo stories” I’ve told myself about my ability to learn or use te reo?
Awanui explained that our inner self-talk can be negative (wairua whakaweti) or positive (wairua manaaki). “We need to look for wairua manaaki within ourselves: ‘I learned a new thing before, I can do it again,’” she said, using the example of learning to drive a car. “We’re all able to learn new things.”
Here are some common examples of wairua whakaweti or negative self-talk — the limiting beliefs or convictions we hold that restrict our potential.
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- If I make a mistake, it’ll affect how Māori others think that I am.
- I should wait until I know more before I use te reo.
- I’m expected to know more than I actually do, because I’m Māori.
- I don’t have time now to enrol in a course, so I’ll wait until I have more time.
The key to shifting limiting beliefs is reframing them and replacing them. For example:
“If I make a mistake, it’ll affect how Māori others think that I am” becomes “If I make a mistake, others will be encouraging” and “Mistakes are part of learning, and my identity is not reliant on this particular sentence being correct.”
“I should wait until I know more before I use te reo” becomes “I’m going to use what I know now with the understanding that sometimes I make mistakes, and that’s okay.”
“I’m expected to know more than I actually do because I’m Māori” becomes “Because I’m Māori, I’m reclaiming multiple parts of my identity. I’m going to be kind to myself as I connect to this part of who I am.”
“I don’t have time now to enrol in a course” becomes “I’m going to create small achievable habits that I can do regularly so that I create incremental progress.”
The reality of learning, Awanui said, is that all learners make mistakes — and as she said this, I heard in my head Pānia Papa saying “Nau mai te hapa” or “Welcome the mistakes” at a kura reo many years ago.
Awanui pointed out that we’ll never have enough time to get our reo to where we want it. We just have to keep going. “Use the micro-moments,” she said. In other words, use whatever reo you have when an opportunity arises.
Emotional regulation — an important part of the reo toolkit
Being able to regulate our emotions by controlling our breathing, Awanui said, is “the number-one cheapest tool”. It helps activate our parasympathetic nervous system, the network of nerves that relaxes the body after periods of stress or danger. “When our bodies feel safe, our bodies and our brains are able to concentrate on the thing that we’re trying to do, which is learning.”
If you’re getting wound up, she recommends pacing your breathing and extending your exhale. Inhale for four counts, hold for four counts, exhale for six counts, then repeat for several minutes. “This can help us to shift out of ‘fight or flight’ mode,” she said. “It’s something you can do quietly and around lots of people, and nobody’s really going to notice.”
Safety also comes with finding reo buddies with whom you can make mistakes, and environments where te reo learning is valued.
Awanui also has a message for proficient speakers — they can play a critical role, too. “We need to be as encouraging as possible, as much as possible, with all of our friends and whānau who are giving it a go.”
I often grumble to my husband that I’m jealous of kura kaupapa kids and all the talented adult learners who speak as if they were kura kaupapa kids. Quite rightly, he reminds me that I wasn’t a kura kaupapa kid and never will be, so why am I beating myself up?
He’s right, of course. My reo has improved a lot over the years, and that’s the reframing I need to adopt. The next time I walk into a reo environment, I’ll aim to make the most of what I’ve achieved without judging myself — or thinking others are judging me.
Dr Atakohu Middleton (Waikato, Pākehā) is a journalist whose lengthy career has included outlets as diverse asRadio Waatea*, theGuardian(UK), theNew Zealand Listener, theSunday Star-Times, and theNew Zealand Herald. She lives in Tāmaki Makaurau. Her book*Kia Hiwa Rā!, on Māori journalism in Aotearoa, was published in 2024.
Share your reo experiences with researchers
Are you a parent transitioning your whānau from English-dominant to te reo Māori-dominant at home? Are you learning te reo Māori and working to build relationships in your community where you can practise and use te reo? Are you a graduate of Kaupapa Māori education working to maintain te reo Māori after leaving kura?
Associate Professor Awanui Te Huia and her colleagues are keen to hear about your experiences for the research project Kia tōnuitia te reo: Enabling thriving reo Māori homes and communities. For more information, use the QR code below or email Awanui at awanui.tehuia@vuw.ac.nz.
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